Quick Hits: Rob Parker's suits must be stopped.

Apparently the couch from "That 70's Show" was saved by Rob Parker's wardrobe.

Try not to stare at the picture too long, you might become disoriented and have a seizure. Our favorite ESPN 2 minion, Rob Parker, decided that it would be a good idea to follow up his shiny suit man appearance, with this lovely plaid ensemble. But I won't make anymore jokes. I'm going to let the wonderful people of Twitter pick apart his wardrobe choice.

And my personal favorite...

In other words, this guy...

Welp.

Quick Hits: Rob Parker's wardrobe malfunctioned today.

Rob Parker celebrates Earth Day with a suit made out of 100% recycled Twix wrappers.

Man. Michael Jordan has made plenty of questionable wardrobe choices throughout his life, but nothing quite as terrible as this. T3L's favorite ESPN talking head, Rob Parker, decided it would be a good idea to wear a suit that appears to be made out of the same material Nike creates Foamposites out of. And the jokes were outstanding.

Here's the Behind the Scenes video of the First Take crew clowning on Pimp of the Year, Rob Parker.

A Nation of Fanalysts

Apparently the answer was, "Because I wear his shoes and you don't motherf^%&er!"

I try not to watch First Take. I hate contributing to that shows ratings, because it gives Skip Bayless a bigger audience to troll. Actually, with the exception of a few programs, I hate watching ESPN period. The entire network has become focused more on the Entertainment aspect than Sports.

I saw the perfect analogy on Twitter today: "Skip Bayless is like a bad car accident you don't want to watch, but you always turn you head to look."

But ESPN has managed to take it to another level of stupidity today. Instead of using their own "analysts" who sometimes know what the fuck they're talking about, First Take has gone the way of SportsNation and continues to use pop culture icons (like Wale, pictured above) to generate more ratings, without actually talking sports.

A sports show, on a sports network, not talking about sports? That's Un-American!

The motivation for this post were the comments Wale made regarding the San Antonio Spurs. When posed with the question "Who wins the Western Conference?" Wale dismissed the idea saying the Spurs were "old and boring." TYPICAL NO NOTHING JACKASS ANALYSIS.

And even after Skip Bayless flooded him with facts and stats, Wale, again went full-retard and said "That's cute. What they're doing is really cute."

Cute.

I try so hard to not overreact and go on profanity laced tirades when writing. And I also try not being biased. I'm about to fail at both of those. As a fan, I have to defend my team. So hit the jump for what is about to be the most vicious, caps-locked abused, Drew Magary inspired rant Blogger has ever seen.